Live for today

Live for today....

I opened my eyes, another day started.

Today was a little bit different, and I didn't have such a day for so long.

I opened the window; everything was calm, simple and gray.

Today is cloudy, sometimes rainy, the best moments in life which are my only wishes.

As I told, today was different, because of such amazing moments.

My room has a window which is opposite to a green yard, I mean exactly green one.

I can't see anything but spring.

Today when I opened the window, I feel a special peace with all my heart; I hadn't this feeling for so many years.

There is a great smell around me, the smell of soaked dust, and the smell of life.

My soul is flying today, I don't know why...but I have a great feeling.

I had a cat, not actually mine but she was born in our yard and grew up here and now, I mean

few minutes ago she came with her three nice kitties.

You see, this is life.

Life goes on.

Life is today, live for today.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, can you feel it?

O God!

Thanks.

Today…

Oh God you know today I became mad again.
How long does it take this time?
But I'm happy at this moment, caz I know the reason for my madness.
I did something wrong although I knew it was wrong, and now I'm psychic.
Why?
Why when I know something is wrong I do it eagerly?
Then I try to justify my foolishness, but I can't.
So I feel I'm an alien with myself, AND IT'S MORTAL.
God you know my weaknesses, you know everything of me.
So is it natural?
Am I intact?
I think I'm not human, if I am, so what does it mean?
Why should this happened to me?
You gave me wisdom, but unfortunately I can't use it sometimes!
So what should I do??????
Oh my God, show me the way.
Show me the reason.
Give me consciousness.
Open my eyes.
Help…

………

Listen…listen to the falling rain…

The tranquillizer sound of rain…

But who hears it…no one…

Among these mortal days, you, my lovely rain again remember me and now you're falling…

What a nice rain...What a pure feeling when the sound dances in my ears…

Uhhh…what a light soul do I have when you're falling.

Never stop falling, I need you for my lonely moments, I need you to make me clean from all my

badness, need you to hide my tears when I'm crying and walking down the street.

I just want you to see them when they running on my face, not anyone else.

I love your drops; love your thunder and lightning sound.

It's the most powerful music in all around the world, for my weary soul, for my broken heart, for

my waiting mind.

Just go outdoors, look at it, and look how it falls so generously.

Go outdoors and let it to hug your soul, let it do something to make you feel better.
Rain knows how to wipe our tears.

I can't say anything more…you must feel it…so don't keep waiting.
Love you rain.

God…

You remember God to solve miseries. You always need him to solve those things that you cannot tolerate. Now, when you finally released from your sadness you don't need him anymore. But you need him for other misery.

Why????

Why you act like this???

Don't deny it…you know it's true, just think for a while.

When was your last weeping during your prayer? When was it?

Yeah, that's right: The last time when you feel sad, depressed, and miserable.

Did your problem solve? Of course it did, but you forgot him, again! And you'll do that one more time.

People he loves you, love him, don't forget him!

SOMETIMES…….

Sometimes some bizarre thoughts come to my mind, which I don't know really where their source is!

Maybe come from my bereaved mind, who knows?

Sometimes I hate everyone and everything, my trust will divest from everyone I know and love (and it's really awful sometimes).

Sometimes I doubt about God even, and I believe that God is just God for some special ones and for the others just a name for peace.

But on those moments I'll never feel peace.

But actually in the worst situations I believe in him for being myself.

I don't know….maybe I have some problems with my beliefs, my mind-my chaotic mind –but these are the things that push me to writing, thinking, and then these helps me feel better and laugh to what I thought.

So after all these I wanna say that:" I started to write in this page which is mine, hope to read it and then laugh to what I think."

Actually maybe this was and will be your thinking, and then I would be happy because I'm not the one who is crazyJ

*if God gave me a wish, he saw the power to reach it in me*