The fifth child...

They found each other different from others, they got married.

Their only wish was a big family with 8 children in a huge house far from London.

Harriet and David Lovatt lived together happily with four children.

Every Christmas and summer vacations whole families gathered together for spending a part of
their wonderful times that God gave them.

But good times passed so soon; Harriet became pregnant, completely different.

The baby was a little strong man in her womb; she had pain every day and night.

He came to this cruel world after 8 months.

Ben was a big problem for everyone in the family.

He was aggressive, cruel, and strong with an unshaped body which scared everyone and tried to kill his brother when he was 3.

He was drove away from others, except his mother.

After a few years that big and crowded house became empty and soundless.

But Ben was still a little troll or goblin…

Harriet tried hard and harder to make him ok, but he was with his unusual friends.

He forgot his mother simply and went from that house.

The last thing was:

Harriet was watching TV when she saw Ben among offenders and a camera was taking movie and Ben was just looking around to find someone like himself.

Continue...

He would never see sparrows again, he knew that.

He opened his eyes and looked again, she was standing closer.

He took a deep breath and tried to remember his wonderful days with his wife near the beach, where they first met each other.

His wife died years ago.

Something sparked in his mind, opened his eyes and looked at the calendar which seemed to be slept on the wall.

Today is his birthday, his wedding anniversary, and he becomes 80.

Suddenly he remembered something…he remembered his wish when he was 20.

He wished to die at the age of 80.

Today…

He felt her near his bed…with her white clothes which waved in the air.

She came closer and closer, till she reached to his bed.

She slept beside him and took him in her arms.

He felt light, painless, empty and he heard her sound whispering in his ears with a delicate sound
"It's time to go dear, as you wished".

Then everything happened so fast that he could not remember, he flew to the new world and he experienced a new feeling.

He felt death…

Guess....!

Guess…

A shivering beam of light, his face lighted gently, and he opened his eyes as slow as possible.

He felt cold in the shiny day, he knew that, his hands shivered for a second.

He felt uncomfortable in his royal bed, he had pain and his breath slowed down.

Turned his head, his face filled up with pain.

He saw…standing at the corner looking at him with a mild smile, like every day during last 4 months, since his children told him he has cancer.

Today like every day he saw her.

He wondered why today is different, he felt her stronger than ever, and scared.

He accepted it, but he wanted to look outdoors one more time, he heard the songs of
sparrows.

He closed his eyes, smiled and wished to be a sparrow.

To be continued...

Endless yawns…

Feel loppy from the moment I opened my eyes.

Isn't it awful???

Oh I don't know what I should do!!

Looking at monitor, feeling my head is empty.

My mouth opens for a lengthy, deep yawn exactly every 5 minutes.

I tried to smile by force, but unfortunately I've never learned so.

So my face is as cold as possible and my eyes are more motionless than ever.

Hhhhhhhh…sorry it was another yawn :D

Oh God I forgot something!!!!

I'm going to see the flowers fair.

It took 15 minutes to reach there from here, my room.

So I have enough time for another three yawns, but they would be the last ones for today.

Thanks God

I'll be Okay!!!

Hope so of course.

Music...

Music…

"Music is one of the most important reasons to exist"

I didn't know how to start writing about music, my only way to peace and life.

So I decided to write a sentence from "Yanni" one of my most loveable musicians.

I live with his songs, sleep with them, wake up and become fresh when my world wants to be monotonous.

Sometimes I want to talk to someone, like my friends and laugh with them.

Sometimes I want to be alone by myself, put a note on my heart and my mind: please don't disturb.

But I've never feel that I don't want to listen to music.

I always feel that need.

I love listening to music when I'm alone.

I don't know why, but when I'm listening to Yanni's songs my soul flies to the highest point which exists.

His fingers dance on keyboard, that's awesome.

I can feel his sentiment, because I play keyboard every now and then, and I feel that every cellules in his body dance with a perfect rhythm.

When I saw him for the first time, a great desire grew in my heart.

I wished to become a great musician like him, and I still have that beautiful wish.

Hope to reach it.

Hmmm....

Hmmm…

Tired of everything in university, I was flying to get home, unfortunately by bus.

Just leaning my head against the disgusting noisy window and watching other people get on and off the bus, I was thinking how much tired I was and I would die as soon as possible.

But you know in the worst situation there is always something really funny that would make you feel better, and there was one for me in the latest moments of my life today.

The bus stopped for the red light which was lengthy enough to see this masterpiece.

Looking around, my eyes locked on an old man, about 70, were talking on his cell phone.

You can't believe but it was attractions.

Honestly, I didn't see his clothes.

I was just gazing at his smiley face while he was laughing and talking.

His eyes were shining as a young boy and if I haven't seen his bald head with just a few white hairs which I could count them; I would have thought that he was talking with his girlfriend ;)

But no, he was an old, really old man, who was talking with a young cell phone.

The bus moved and for the first time in my life I felt how much curious I am.

I wish I knew what he was talking about and with whom of course.

But from that moment till now I'm still a big question mark.

What can I do?

That's the way it is.

Live for today

Live for today....

I opened my eyes, another day started.

Today was a little bit different, and I didn't have such a day for so long.

I opened the window; everything was calm, simple and gray.

Today is cloudy, sometimes rainy, the best moments in life which are my only wishes.

As I told, today was different, because of such amazing moments.

My room has a window which is opposite to a green yard, I mean exactly green one.

I can't see anything but spring.

Today when I opened the window, I feel a special peace with all my heart; I hadn't this feeling for so many years.

There is a great smell around me, the smell of soaked dust, and the smell of life.

My soul is flying today, I don't know why...but I have a great feeling.

I had a cat, not actually mine but she was born in our yard and grew up here and now, I mean

few minutes ago she came with her three nice kitties.

You see, this is life.

Life goes on.

Life is today, live for today.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, can you feel it?

O God!

Thanks.