Light on…

He decided to leave her. That was all.

They had many small problems, better to say, many small disagreements. But they loved each other for years.

None of them have ever thought about leaving, but he did finally, after a short discussion the night before.

She woke up with some sounds; it was him, packing his suitcase.

She couldn't believe it, but that was true, he was leaving her with all those beautiful memories.

He looked at her, his eyes were empty, and she sat on their bed staring at him.

"Good morning" he said with a motionless voice. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He stood up, looked at her with the last signs of love in his eyes which were disappearing. Of course she saw it, but she wasn't sure.

He turned on the old music player which she has bought for his birthday.

The sound filled up their small but lovely room:

" Never really said too much
Afraid it wouldn't be enough
Just try to keep my spirits up
When there's no point in grieving

Doesn't matter anyway
Words can never make me stay
Words will never take my place
When you know I'm leaving"

"Bye" he said. She couldn't hear any more, he put his suitcase and walked away.

The last thing she heard was the sound of door closed like it never would be opened again.

After several minutes she went to the door maybe she could see him one more time, but the only thing she saw was his footsteps on white and pure snow.

"Try to leave a light on when I'm gone
something I rely on to get home
one I can feel at night, a naked light
a fire to keep me warm

Try to leave a light on when I'm gone
even in the daylight, shine on
and when it's late at night
you can look inside
you won't feel so alone."

The last part of music.

He was gone.

The truth...

The truth…

He separated a spirit from him and gave him beauty. He purred him with all the blessing of gracefulness and kindness. He gave him a cup of happiness and told "Don't drink from this cup unless you forget the past and the future and forget that happiness is naught but the moment."

And then he gave him a cup of sorrow and told "Whenever you drink from this cup you'll understand the meaning of the fleeting joy of life, but sorrow is enduring."

Then he bestowed upon him a love that would surround all one's belongings and a sweetness which would vanish, with his first flattery.

He gave him a fire from the furnace of anger and sharp sands from the shore of selfishness. He gave him a blind power that drives him into madness and placed life in him which was the sign of death.

At the end he cried and laughed, he felt in love with him and…

And He combined them all and fashioned a Man…

The fifth child...

They found each other different from others, they got married.

Their only wish was a big family with 8 children in a huge house far from London.

Harriet and David Lovatt lived together happily with four children.

Every Christmas and summer vacations whole families gathered together for spending a part of
their wonderful times that God gave them.

But good times passed so soon; Harriet became pregnant, completely different.

The baby was a little strong man in her womb; she had pain every day and night.

He came to this cruel world after 8 months.

Ben was a big problem for everyone in the family.

He was aggressive, cruel, and strong with an unshaped body which scared everyone and tried to kill his brother when he was 3.

He was drove away from others, except his mother.

After a few years that big and crowded house became empty and soundless.

But Ben was still a little troll or goblin…

Harriet tried hard and harder to make him ok, but he was with his unusual friends.

He forgot his mother simply and went from that house.

The last thing was:

Harriet was watching TV when she saw Ben among offenders and a camera was taking movie and Ben was just looking around to find someone like himself.

Continue...

He would never see sparrows again, he knew that.

He opened his eyes and looked again, she was standing closer.

He took a deep breath and tried to remember his wonderful days with his wife near the beach, where they first met each other.

His wife died years ago.

Something sparked in his mind, opened his eyes and looked at the calendar which seemed to be slept on the wall.

Today is his birthday, his wedding anniversary, and he becomes 80.

Suddenly he remembered something…he remembered his wish when he was 20.

He wished to die at the age of 80.

Today…

He felt her near his bed…with her white clothes which waved in the air.

She came closer and closer, till she reached to his bed.

She slept beside him and took him in her arms.

He felt light, painless, empty and he heard her sound whispering in his ears with a delicate sound
"It's time to go dear, as you wished".

Then everything happened so fast that he could not remember, he flew to the new world and he experienced a new feeling.

He felt death…

Guess....!

Guess…

A shivering beam of light, his face lighted gently, and he opened his eyes as slow as possible.

He felt cold in the shiny day, he knew that, his hands shivered for a second.

He felt uncomfortable in his royal bed, he had pain and his breath slowed down.

Turned his head, his face filled up with pain.

He saw…standing at the corner looking at him with a mild smile, like every day during last 4 months, since his children told him he has cancer.

Today like every day he saw her.

He wondered why today is different, he felt her stronger than ever, and scared.

He accepted it, but he wanted to look outdoors one more time, he heard the songs of
sparrows.

He closed his eyes, smiled and wished to be a sparrow.

To be continued...

Endless yawns…

Feel loppy from the moment I opened my eyes.

Isn't it awful???

Oh I don't know what I should do!!

Looking at monitor, feeling my head is empty.

My mouth opens for a lengthy, deep yawn exactly every 5 minutes.

I tried to smile by force, but unfortunately I've never learned so.

So my face is as cold as possible and my eyes are more motionless than ever.

Hhhhhhhh…sorry it was another yawn :D

Oh God I forgot something!!!!

I'm going to see the flowers fair.

It took 15 minutes to reach there from here, my room.

So I have enough time for another three yawns, but they would be the last ones for today.

Thanks God

I'll be Okay!!!

Hope so of course.

Music...

Music…

"Music is one of the most important reasons to exist"

I didn't know how to start writing about music, my only way to peace and life.

So I decided to write a sentence from "Yanni" one of my most loveable musicians.

I live with his songs, sleep with them, wake up and become fresh when my world wants to be monotonous.

Sometimes I want to talk to someone, like my friends and laugh with them.

Sometimes I want to be alone by myself, put a note on my heart and my mind: please don't disturb.

But I've never feel that I don't want to listen to music.

I always feel that need.

I love listening to music when I'm alone.

I don't know why, but when I'm listening to Yanni's songs my soul flies to the highest point which exists.

His fingers dance on keyboard, that's awesome.

I can feel his sentiment, because I play keyboard every now and then, and I feel that every cellules in his body dance with a perfect rhythm.

When I saw him for the first time, a great desire grew in my heart.

I wished to become a great musician like him, and I still have that beautiful wish.

Hope to reach it.